Geeky Mortgages!

As a going away present from my lovely mother I recieved this lovely, delightful, charming, beautiful calender from The Mortgage Business
Okay I more swiped it from my mum's work for the sheer awfulness of this calender. The stars (or staff) appear in this quite awful, quite naff, but quite funny, calender showing the staff as superheros. Most of them resembling well known superheros, the ocassional character offering a hero name such as the Doctor Oc rip off being called 'Multi Man' or the superman type hero being called 'TMB Man'. I love it so much that it proudly sits on my desk for some reason, probably sheer randomness.

Mortgages look cool, I want one.

Photo Montage Time! (PMT)

A new leaf is turning for the ramble shambles, I'm going all arty farty, but mixed with self deprication, if I was willingly capable of mixing the two phrases I'd called it self arty farty deprication, but that's a mouthful so I'm going to avoid it. I present for my arty farty fans a super photo collage of my village Crawley Down
Now some artists might want to avoid crap views of their subjects, not this young budding ginger photographer. I'm not scared to mix the grim (the new indian in the village) with the pompus (the fucking cannon that is for some reason in my old primary school). But I'm not scared of tackling the issues, such as including a photo of estate agent signs, which quite obviously is commentry on the raising house prices in the south east and illustrating that this bubble will burst by showing some estate agent signs collapsed. Powerful stuff, sure some artists might hide away from explaining the subtext, but not me. I've also included my cat looking, as if he is looking in on the village, he's in the centre looking around, with a contrasting pic of inside the room with the shot of the plant. It's all about contrast folks! And some budding nit picking photographers out there may be quick to pick apart at the appalling photos, some of them may be blurred, but in a way I wanted to capture a very real aspect of the village, it's buzzing village, and also show the type of people who live in the village (alot of people who work at Gatwick only 7 miles away) by sort of getting a jetplane type fuel smudging effect over the photos. Powerful stuff.

More arty farty stuff coming soon when I next get inspired.

Art Attack Time!

My student procascination continues even when term has ended, look for yourself below at a deliciously abstract ink (I don't do pencil) sketching of my kitche
But don't just look at the sketch for itself, why you need explanations from the artist (i.e. Me)

I symbolically (Or as I prefer to say symbollocks) used a squiggle to show the mess that needs to be washed up, I could have gone into specifics with that part, but I prefer to leave it to the viewers imagination to picture just what exactly needs washing up in a student house. Did someone suggest a dildo? Hey I just draw and leave you to imagine!

I deliberatly ended up draw the kitchen floor over the freezer to imply that the crap in a student freezer should just be left on the floor, stuff like chicken nuggets, fish fingers and corn on the cob. But the beauty of my picture leaves it open to multiple interpretations such as could it have been a mistake? Which it might of been.

Look at the boiler, does the perpective on it look fucked or does infact the boiler look like it's bursting struggling to heat a house? Maybe both. Is it a message about the poor maintenance of student houses? Oh it could be. Points for you for recognising that.

And look at the grosly out of proportion tap with not sketching looking like it was put in as an after thought. It speaks volumes about the student, showing that drinking water is an afterthought after drinking too much and coming close to throwing up.

Of course there are litearlly dozens of meanings that could be taken from the pic, but I hope as the artist I have opened your eyes to appreciate a bit more than just looking at a 10 minute sketch for the hell of it and seeing a biting satire on student life.

Neil Buchanan would be proud if he could see me now.