Photo Montage Time! (PMT)

A new leaf is turning for the ramble shambles, I'm going all arty farty, but mixed with self deprication, if I was willingly capable of mixing the two phrases I'd called it self arty farty deprication, but that's a mouthful so I'm going to avoid it. I present for my arty farty fans a super photo collage of my village Crawley Down
Now some artists might want to avoid crap views of their subjects, not this young budding ginger photographer. I'm not scared to mix the grim (the new indian in the village) with the pompus (the fucking cannon that is for some reason in my old primary school). But I'm not scared of tackling the issues, such as including a photo of estate agent signs, which quite obviously is commentry on the raising house prices in the south east and illustrating that this bubble will burst by showing some estate agent signs collapsed. Powerful stuff, sure some artists might hide away from explaining the subtext, but not me. I've also included my cat looking, as if he is looking in on the village, he's in the centre looking around, with a contrasting pic of inside the room with the shot of the plant. It's all about contrast folks! And some budding nit picking photographers out there may be quick to pick apart at the appalling photos, some of them may be blurred, but in a way I wanted to capture a very real aspect of the village, it's buzzing village, and also show the type of people who live in the village (alot of people who work at Gatwick only 7 miles away) by sort of getting a jetplane type fuel smudging effect over the photos. Powerful stuff.

More arty farty stuff coming soon when I next get inspired.

My Christmas - dull post time

Hello there, I celebrated christmas yesterday, did you? Was yours good? Oh really, get anything good? Oh you got one of those, they are cool!

My christmas you ask? It was alright, christmas dinner was lovely, spending time with my family after not being with them since novemember was nice. Presents you ask? Well I got a few DVDs and some money. I got Peep Show series 3, sadly it can't play on my laptop so I can't play it on the move so I'll have to partake in the traditional christmas activity of taking something back, wonderful.

Christmas TV? Bit underwhelming in all honesty. I watched Harry Potter for some reason after a walk around my sussex village to see what was different out of restlessness (they've not finally got a indian after NIMBY type of complaining from people who live 10 minutes away!). Harry Potter was alright. Not sure what the fricking fuss is and why I care about the fricking fuss. Then watched Doctor Who, was entertaining, sure, but a little over the top and frantic that I lost a little interest by the end of the episode. Oh and my mum and sister talked over the first quater of an hour of it, disgraceful. Doctor who must be watched in silence and awe, not chat about the fucking new indian in the village. Little Britain Abroad? Double underwhelming. The ocassional laugh, but now I'm just looking at the show at disbelief trying to understand why I liked it once upon a time.

Well it's boxing day today, and I'm currently drugged up feeling a little drousy. I come home and I'm sneezing away, there's something I'm allergic to in the house, I think it's the cat, I don't want to confirm this, I love cats, I am a cat person, but my aunt developed a cat allergy suddenly, I have a bad feeling I do. So as I type this blog I'm on some drug I can't remember the name of, it's sounds like hysterectomy, I can't drink alcohol, probably for the best, I don't want to be wankered infront of the parents. It's stopping my sneezing which is wicked. Innit.

My boxing day was alright, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin and Grandparents came round. I had to amuse my seven year old cousin which was suprisingly easy when he has a cyberman voice changer toy. I encouraged him to make burping and farting noises through it, I am a bad influence.

I can't think of anything else to blog about my christmas other than my concern that I'm going to have to spend the next 2 weeks at home drugged up to prevent me from sneezing at something I'm allergic to at home. Good Day.

Christmas Ramble

Well it's almost christmas, and like all good bloggers (like me, I'm good blogger and a good bogger, I do my number twos when necessary fact fans, no holding it in for this ginger, not that I'm saying gingers commonly hold in poos) it's always probably compulsory at this time to blog about christmas. Well the one thing I love about christmas is the music, the shiteness of music at this time of year, so most of my blog today/tonight is going to be about the music.

Sure the giving and recieving of presents is good, but usually I end up recieving too many DVDs and spend the period around christmas in my room watching DVDs (the lord of the rings extended editions is a christmas tradition for me, well has been for 3 years, shame Peter Jackson won't get off his arse and write a sequel), and the giving of presents is all very good, but unless I'm nicely guidelined by people as to what gifts to get someone, it requires me to pluck up my own iniative to pick a present for them, and after hours of desperation I plummet on something which by that point I have deluded myself into thinking said thing is a good gift then spend a few days regretting buying said thing and end up with the good old back up plan of self deprecation at my uselessness on christmas day. "I'm a man" is always a good protest when self depricating to those of the opposite gender to my goodself, i.e. them with no dicks, ladies I believe they are called.

Anyway where was I in the point I tried to set up in the beginning paragraphs (I write in paragraphs, get me!), ah yes christmas music. Now I'm of the unfortunate age where my generation hasn't had a christmas song as a christmas number one. Fucking Madword, we came so close, but it's okay in hindsight as the darkness dissapeared up their own asses. We assciate fucking East 17's won't you stay another day and girls aloud's sound of the underground with christmas, despite neither song having shit all to do with christmas (although the first song I mentioned, the the one by those good awful looking young men east 17 can be conveniantly twisted to be christmassy for some reason). I like shite music which I hope might be clear through some of my blogs over the year (I've been blogging for a year? Good captain Wensledale! So I have). Well without any google research here's me picking some songs out of my arse for sure naffness, okay there will be some google research, I need to provide helpful links to my bloggers who want to know more about the single.... probably.

So I present: Clive_Evil_C's Ramble Shambles 3 randomly picked christmas releases from the last few years that are shit. But likeably shit. At least in this silly bloggers view.
(But he won't listen to the again, because they are probably very shite)

My first song picked is the robot wars single by Sir Killalot Vs Robo-Babe 069 - '' entitled Robot Wars (Android Love)'' A few years ago I loved robot wars, god knows why, it was shit, electronic engineers wet dreams, why it appealed to me I don't know, but who knows. Well what with all over merchandised tripe nowadays a single is necessary, and a christmas time single is what was in store. For some reason Sir Killalot pictured to the right had the clout to help propel a struggling singer to stardom. Okay that's bollocks. It was an illconcieved dance song with supposidly feature Sir Killalot, but which I hope is apparent to anyone else who watched the song is that sir killalot doesn't talk, the robots on fucking robot wars don't talk. For some reason I had talked about the song with my mum subtely dropping hints that it would make a good christmas stocking filler for me, without even hearing the song, but going by the quality label that is associated with a cash cow like robot wars. Mum brought me the single and knocked me off my feet by letting me have it early. I put it into the computer bitterly dissapointed that it was just shit. And to make matters worse the CD-ROM video included just featured women in metal (presumably keeping in the style of the roboting and all that) bikinis, I didn't want to let my mum see me watching that, but I didn't want to see ungrateful and tell her it was shit. (Well it was rubbish, at that age I wouldn't dream of saying the shit word, actually I might dream of being a swearer like so many of the cool kids at school but failing to live my dreams, damm society holding me back!). Want proof said song mentioned in the ramble does infact exist? Click here.


My second song to be picked is titled Cognoscenti vs. Intelligentsia by the Cuban Boys. A.K.A. a dance remix (or something similar, I think it was little too indie or weird or summat for my taste at the time, and I'm not tarnishing my countdown here by listening again to the songs, mainly as they are quite shit songs) of the hampster dance. Remember that? It was a site which had hammsters dancing to a sort of pre-crazy frog type noise of a hamster yodelling, apparently from robin hood. It was a site full of crude gif animations, hell why am I explaining it, watch it here in all it's crude early internet stylee. It was baffling in it's novelty, and confirmed to me in my childhood early teens that I wasn't going to be liking proper music and be one of those jo whiley groupie type people, I loved shit music, and wasn't very good, but charted at number 4 in december of some year, so it might of been decently bad, who knows. I owned it on cassette, and it's on a landfill somewhere right now. To quote coldplay "tears streaming, down your face" *Sniff* Moving on.

And my third song is Craig Phillip's At This Time of Year. Little internet proof can be found that said song exists other than this BBC news article here I found after a quick google search. Craig Phillips was the first winner of Big Brother, and melted the nations hearts when he gave his prize money for some worthwhile cause to a family member (I can't remember specifics, but then again this isn't a well research blog piece) and yet he wanted to raise more money for the worthwhile charity so released a christmas song. What that likeable chappy releasing a song? the moving lyrics still stick in my brain today "at this time of year, friends and lovers should be near" rhyming genius! It charted at number 14 and was forgotten just like the previous two songs, but I shall sit here happy tonight that I may have planted seeds of rememberance in some of my readers minds. My sister owned a copy of this on tape, so money for worthwhile cause didn't come from my pocket moneyied wallet. Tight Wad.

And that's my pointless countdown. Well Merry Christmas and all that Jazz (that is if I don't blog between now and the day).

Art Attack Time!

My student procascination continues even when term has ended, look for yourself below at a deliciously abstract ink (I don't do pencil) sketching of my kitche
But don't just look at the sketch for itself, why you need explanations from the artist (i.e. Me)

I symbolically (Or as I prefer to say symbollocks) used a squiggle to show the mess that needs to be washed up, I could have gone into specifics with that part, but I prefer to leave it to the viewers imagination to picture just what exactly needs washing up in a student house. Did someone suggest a dildo? Hey I just draw and leave you to imagine!

I deliberatly ended up draw the kitchen floor over the freezer to imply that the crap in a student freezer should just be left on the floor, stuff like chicken nuggets, fish fingers and corn on the cob. But the beauty of my picture leaves it open to multiple interpretations such as could it have been a mistake? Which it might of been.

Look at the boiler, does the perpective on it look fucked or does infact the boiler look like it's bursting struggling to heat a house? Maybe both. Is it a message about the poor maintenance of student houses? Oh it could be. Points for you for recognising that.

And look at the grosly out of proportion tap with not sketching looking like it was put in as an after thought. It speaks volumes about the student, showing that drinking water is an afterthought after drinking too much and coming close to throwing up.

Of course there are litearlly dozens of meanings that could be taken from the pic, but I hope as the artist I have opened your eyes to appreciate a bit more than just looking at a 10 minute sketch for the hell of it and seeing a biting satire on student life.

Neil Buchanan would be proud if he could see me now.

The Independent MeMe

Well me blog family of Dan and Cheryl did this, so without further explanation, here is my attempt.

If I weren't talking to you right now I'd be...
At work at Tk Maxx? Because the only reason I'm not at work is to do this MeMe, not because I hate the place, have been feeling ill and want a reason to not to go into work.
That or I'd be watching a DVD or facebook stalking or summat mildly interesting.

A common misperception of me is...
God knows, to some I'm that quiet person, others I'm that dirty minded person, others I'm a ginger role model. So in answers to all 3 of those things, no I'm not that quiet , just a bit auquard at times, dirty minded? A bit, but considering my lack of milk making experience quite innocent and as for the ginger role model, I'm not, I'm just doing my part for the ginger civil rights movement.

I am not a politician but...
that means I'm not a cunt.

I'm good at...
making an idiot of myself, knowing pointless celebrity tripe, being polite, knowing star wars, talking crap to receptive ears.

I'm very bad at...
getting to know new people, making the effort to make conversation with people I don't know well, self control in the previously mentioned making an idiot of myself, pushing myself to do something with my life,

You know me as a ginger student but in truer life I would have been...
A busty blonde.

The best age to be is...
I dunno, my life at nineteen isn't too bad.

I just want to fuck off home

Hello there blog, it's the end of term for uni students, I wanted to end my term in a glorious merry hyperactive (almost nobish) drunken state, sadly I've ended this term with just stress. I'm full of flu, which is always a fun thing to blog about. My loyal readers can identify with the character of me and say "Yes, I've been full of flu before, it's like we have a connection" well I'm sorry but we don't, I'm just scrounging for some sympathy here.

The last day of term (friday) consisted of me doing a presentation, I muppetishly put myself down to do my persentation on the last day of term, the day when over half the class is sciving and I could have been one of them. I managed to get through my presentation withouth coughing or spluttering much. Huzzah.

Then I lay in bed all afternoon, or lay around somewhere, can't remember specifically, it was definetly in the student house of dreams. Then in the evening we did our secret santa for our house where someone thoughtfully brought me that book. The ginger survival guide Dan told me about via the glorious medium of blogging back in July. It's a little insulting as I suspected and keeps using the baffling word of ginner. What's a ginner? Who calls people of my kind a ginner? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Well it was a house party at my friends house that evening, and damm it if my flu was gonna get in the way. Sadly it did. I didn't much feel like drinking and making an arse of myself, I felt I had to drink the drinks I'd managed to scrounge, but struggled to find the strength to start drinking a warm stella. Ugh. I left at a just bit before midnight with a headache and a general feeling of dissapointment at how my last day of term had ended.

I phoned in sick to work at the place that must not be named today, about 70% of my reasoning was that I was feeling ill, and another 30% was that I didn't want to go into after... well reasons listed (more like ranted) in a previous blog, scroll down my hos. I got a "don't let me down" from the manager on the other end of the phone. Sadly I'm defaultly polite in a sober state and just said "I'm sorry". I'd prefer to have spewed in hindsight "Well you've got christmas temporary staff... Oh wait, no you haven't because most of the christmas temporary staff at the shit hole have left after a couple of weeks, you're understaffed, you're screwed, hopefully I'll stay working at your shit organisation long enough till christmas day, but don't hold your breath". I must stress I didn't say that down the phone, no matter how tempting it maybe to do in future. Say tommorow, when I phone in sick again.

Which sums up my feelings at the moment, I want to quit work get out of Reading and be able to fuck off home back to Sussex for a few weeks. Would make me a lot fucking happier.

Oh yes and be less full of flu as well would be super.

British Comedy Awards - A rant

I don't know if it's even worth ranting. I've got a cold, I've got a presentation to work on for tomorrow, but then blogging is a good form of procascination, so here goes. Mitchell and Webb were robbed. Charlotte Church best female comedy newcomer? Eh? Well there was no one better in the category to win it, and her show is like car crash viewing, at least that's my experience of it. Just worth watching to see how much worse it can get.

That Mitchell and Webb Look which has been consistently funny losing to patchy Star Stories? I watched one episode, I was in a silly giggly mood at the time, it made me laugh a little, but That Mitchell and Webb Look was far funnier.

I'm not even going to bother ranting about Ant and Dec winning an award other than a little concerned there is no love for Mitchell and Webb from the texting masses? I'm not one of the texting masses so I've got an excuse for my lack of texting. Every year Ant and Dec have to win an award, it's on ITV, ITV need an award from the evening. At least they didn't win their other awards.

To quote the Guradian "On a night of surprises Stephen Merchant upstaged his better known comedy partner Ricky Gervais at the British Comedy Awards, beating him to the best actor prize for his role as a hapless showbiz agent in Extras." Surpise? Stephen Mercahnt winning? Not really. Sure, I wanted Robert and David to win the best comedy actor award, but what with Mr. Merchant steeling extras and being the only thing worth watching what with the second series dissapearing up it's own ass and the celebrity cameos becoming as boring and uninspiring as the simpsons celebrity cameos. Hell he's got a cameo in the new season of 24, it's not a suprise that he won it, it's just fucking lazyness on the part of the British comedy awards. And as for recent news of a third series of Extras? I have two words... FUCK OFF.

The BBC news article on the event frustrates me as well "while student favourite Little Britain won the FHM and Zoo magazine vote for top stage show." Student favourite? Oh fuck off. Mighty Boosh or Mitchell and Webb are a student favourite, not fucking Little Britain with it's milking of as many people's wallet's as possible. But the British comedy awards have to give Little Britain an award as well as Ant and Dec and Ricky Gervais (okay it was Mr.Merchant who won it, but still, close enough link).

At least Peep Show won. I would have majorly kicked my TV in if Extras had won.

So to summarise my view on the British Comedy Awards... FUCK OFF.

Harry Potter?!?

Whilst walking back from town today after some limited christmas shopping I walked past piss heads bench. Okay that fact in itself isn't worth blogging about. Piss heads bench you ask? Why it's a bench just outside of the town centre which often has drunk people with cans. That fact in itself isn't very exciting, but feel free to pretend it is. One of the participants on piss head bench in drunken slurred way said "that kid looks like Harry Potter" refering to me I assumed. Hell I think he pointed at me. After about 5 seconds of confusion in my gingery head I remarked "More like Ron" which I got some drunken swaggerd sort of "Yeah" and his drunken college remarked, well more repeated what I said "more like Ron" and whilst I was walking away I think the guy said "cunt" under his breath.

Now I'm just a little confused, I'm sure I don't look like Harry Potter, he might not have been refering to me as Harry Potter, he was drunk so why am I running this through my mind?

Maybe because I'm scared of being told I look like Harry Potter.

Oh dear not again...

We went to theatre darlings which I gather is what people do in London. But we had to kill some time in London darlings before hand, witness said killing in a mini photo collage of me killing below. I went to this super elaborate toilet in London called the National Gallery, it had a cafe and an art gallery with it as well, but I didn't go to the toilet so it was a bit of a wasted trip not going to the main part of the National Gallery. I also went to covent garden where my housemates encouraged me to have my photo taken outside a t-shirt shop, I'm not sure exactly why. Oh and we visited a waterstones, they had a book I wanted, but then I remembered I'm not a mentalist so I didn't buy it.

Did I mention darlings I went to theatre? Well my housemate introduced me to this system of turning up on the day and deciding what you wanted to see on the day. Sounds like madness! We saw the Rocky Horror picture show, a show I enjoyed even more because of some actor I'd forgotten I rather liked. Mr. Steve Pemberton of League of Gentlemen fame who stole the show for me with the wonderful responses to heckles.
"She rided a..."
"COCK"
"I've got tidlewave written here, but I will accept cock"
I enjoyed the whole show, it made me remember how much the film is as weird as fuck, but oddly enjoyable, and has made me want to listen to the time warp again, just after I've finished listening to Hanson's MmmBop. I'm sure Hanson's MmmBop has no real lyrics and just consists of the brothers making wierd as fuck noises.

Clive_Evil_C's Vs Someone

I'm not proud of myself today blog, today at work I came closest yet to handing in my notice and skipping away in a manic laughter at the delight of quiting the place. Previously at work I tried to get Christmas Eve off with 4 weeks notice, surely that's enough time, no apparently they need to six weeks notice, I've got over that huff, i should have known and tried to get the day off sooner, although I did say "BUGGER" rather loudly infront of the manager when she told me that.

So my plans for christmas are to go home christmas eve (I cheekily phoned home and subtelty placed the stepping stones to my dad to pick me up, well I phoned home, so I'm a good son, don't judge!). Today I looked at the planner and found that my bastard of a weekend job had put me down to work Boxing day. Like fuck I was going to come back from Sussex at the cost of £14 quid to earn about £30 on boxing day, so in a manner which I handled extremly badly noticing two members of management in the office I asked "WHY HAVE I BEEN PUT DOWN FOR BOXING DAY?" (Okay, I didn't shout, but nor did I say it in a polite manner).

I can't quite remeber my whole arguement, but basically the explanation I got from them was because I was on a temporary christmas contract and was expected to work boxing day. This is what pissed me off. I'm not on a temporary contract, I may be on a probaitional contract, or was as I've passed my three month probationary contract or something (I don't know, I have fucking useless management who don't explain things properly to me), I was hired in August, what fucking stores hires temporary christmas staff August? Like in most cases I always think of the best things to say in situations after the event. But I told managment I was not on a temporary christmas job, I was on a weekend job, at no point in the job advert, the job interview or my induction was I fucking informed that this was a temporary christmas job. I was told this was a weekend job. Boxing Day... A.K.A Tuesday the 26th of December is not in my contracted hours. So I was informed I had to swap it with someone. I'm not matey enough with anyone in the place to ask anyone to swap a day they've got off with me, some of the staff are nice there, I won't ask anyone to do that, this is managments fuck up they won't rectify, no one else is taking the fall. I pointed out that I would be home, but didn't care to point out home isn't fucking Reading but fucking Sussex (here to be precise, well not that precise). It just kept going round in circle, me being told I'm on a temporary christmas contract and that I'd have to swap. Also I was told that at the interview I should have infromed them of any holiday I had booked, so basically in fucking August when my main concern was to get a job to earn some money for uni not fucking christmas, I was supposed to ask for boxing day off? Even if I were too, like fuck they would make a note of it, they would completly forget, hell my application form is probaby been scrapped. I can't remember, but I'm sure I stormed out the office to go on lunch in a bad mood ranting away to my friend and wanting to give my notice in then and there but not wanting to rush into it and do it Sunday instead once I've thought it through.

I got back from lunch to be told I could have the day off. I apoligised to the guy I had the argument with, mainly because I thought he was a decent guy, but in my twisted sense of anger when doing recovery and putting chav rag shit back on the hangers mulling over what had happened that he just bull shitted me right and proper and that I still wanted to quit the place, but would see how I feel after christmas. I did not handle the situation in the best way, but hell I got what I wanted, and made a stand to management, show them I couldn't be fucking used (not the first time, I've been persuaded into working 7:30 starts on Sunday, I did two, hated myself for doing it, manager tried to convince me to do it, in this glorious style "what time you in tomorrow?" "9" "7:30?" "No, 9" "7:10?" "9" "7:30?" "9!" "7:30?" "9" "7:30?" "9" "7:30?" "9" "7:30?" "NINE" What have you got a night on the sauce?" No, I just don't want to work 7:30!). So yes, I'm not proud of the way I handled it, but bloody hell I'm pissed off with the place and secretly suspect that the only reason they let me have the day off (as if I can call it a fucking day off) was because the amount of staff that I've seen leave since I've started means they need anyone they can get who will stay working there. Well don't count on me for too long. I'm embarassed enough I've spent over 3 months there.

I do not like Little Britain anymore...

I do not like Little Britain anymore...
I do not like Little Britain anymore...
I do not like Little Britain anymore...
I do not like Little Britain anymore..Oh look, Steve Coogan is in a Lou and Andy sketch. Maybe I do like Little Britain, hell Rob Brydon was the only good thing about the third series of the show (Maybe a slight exagerration).

Oh wait it's a fucking Lou and Andy Sketch "But you always said you didn't like planes" "Yeah I know" "So how'd you want to travel?" "Plane" Scene in a plane "I don't like planes". It's suppose to be a Lost parody which just sounds like a horrible idea and Coogan is only in said sketch very briefly. I think I'll go back to where I started.

I do not like Little Britain anymore...
I do not like Little Britain anymore...
I do not like Little Britain anymore...
I do not like Little Britain anymore...

Can't be assed to go to bed, so I'll MeMe your ass

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I don't know if I looked in the mirror today, might have done briefly when getting clothes out and I would have been naked so it would have been a dull thought such as... I dunno. How Quickly can I erect you? Or Summat.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
£10.86 exactly.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
Bore.
4. Favourite planet?
Tatooine.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My Housemate. I get so few calls that I make a point of answering them.
6. What is your favourite ring tone on your phone?
I have a shit phone. No favourites. So Pass Mate.
7. What shirt are you wearing?A
A Green Primark one. Woah.
8. Do you “label” yourself?
I'm too "individual" to label myself.
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
My Feet.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Dan? An amusing fella, delightful company. Oh and Gay.
12. What does your watch look like?
Crap.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Online probably.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
You want the full text? Well here goes. "Well you wouldn't want you to get bored! I'm ok now, gearing up for office move, take care. mum" Shittingly exciting.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
There's one in Calgary in Canada, My cousin kept taking me and my sister there when I was on holiday there. It was unexciting, they had slush pupy type thinks that my cousin insisted we had to have. They weren't all that.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Oh
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
No Idea. Don't think it'll be my parents, they aren't the sort.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My crotch.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Caffiene and Alcohol. That's it. Honest Guvnor.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
I ain't no square, I'm digital now biatch.
21. Favourite age you have been so far?
18.
22. Your worst enemy?
Evil Tree.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
A picture of me and my friend hugging our idol. First time in my life I've got a picture of me as my wallpaper.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Good Bye my lovers. Too my housemates. Really.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
A million. The novelty of flying would wear thin soon.
26. Do you like someone?
Yes. Not in that way.
27. The last song you listened to?
Take That's Patience. I've listened to this song far far far too many times.
29. What’s your favourite number?
Brazil, as in Brazil Britains feared dead.
30. Where did you live in 1987?
For 8 months of it in my mums tummy, then the next four months at home in Sussex, a village near Gatwick.
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Not Really.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
I hope so. They wouldn't tell me if they were.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At School. Didn't hear about it until I got home and turned the TV on.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Accept I've lost my money, I can't be assed the hassle of finding someone to get my money back.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
At times, when I'm not being a nob or being shy.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I've covered this before, it would be the kitemark, see here.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
German.
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Probably. But I want to know what love is, I want you to show me.
39. Are you touchy feely?
Not Really.
40. What’s your life motto?
"I'm not paid enough to care" I dread to think that at a point in my life I might be paid enough to care.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Underwear, T-Shirt, Trousers.
42. What’s your favourite town/city?
No particular favourite, London is okay, Reading is not too bad, Crawley whilst scummy, has some scummy charm.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
A bottle of cherry coke.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
For my 18th birthday, my dad forced me to write thank you letters, first time in my life I've had to do that.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
No.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
I'll get back to you on that in a few years time.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Well my family on my dads side has a few generations in Manchester, then previous to that Norfolk. My mums side has no variation other than being from near leicster.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
This Thursday.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My mouth, I'm thirsty.
50. Have you been burned by love?
End on a question I can't answer, unless you're refering to self love? or parental love?